Sit down dear reader for I have a tale of malice and deception to tell you, the likes of which are rarely seen in our quiet little corner of these northern suburbs. In April of this past year of our Lord, 2021, I took my car into the New Brighton location for some brake issues I was having. At their suggestion, I had them replace my rear calipers, among other things, and I spent quite a bit of money doing so. Then in December, once again in the year of our Lord, 2021, to my shock, my brake light went on. Being a lay person, I did not know exactly what was wrong with my brakes, but I assumed, since they were recently replaced, it could not be my calipers. To be safe, however, I took my car into an Honest-One location, knowing that, if in fact there was an issue with the parts that I had replaced in April, the warranty that covered my calipers would be honored at this location, given that their signs, their branding, and commitment to customer care were exactly the same. Why did I not take my car into the New Brighton location, you ask? Well, as a humble working man, I was not free to take my car in on a weekday as I am in fact working, so I was forced to do so on a weekend. Given that the New Brighton location shuts its doors on weekends, I went to the next nearest location to me, which happens to be in Roseville. Whatever did those Roseville mechanics find, you ask? Well, it was in fact the calipers that were replaced nary six months ago that were vexing my poor little Hyundai Elantra. So being the spendthrift I’m forced to be by my middle class wages, I paid the $200+ diagnostics charge, picked up my damaged car and harrowingly drove it across town to the New Brighton location, where they assured me they would honor their warranty. The next day, I picked up my car, receiving no apology or explanation whatsoever as to why the parts I had paid so much for only a couple of months ago lasted less than a year, causing me, and my expectant wife, a great deal of inconvenience. Our story then reached its climax when I, like an innocent doe, pulled out my receipt from the Roseville location’s diagnostics to ask that Honest-One reimburse me for the money I had spent. Mind you, I paid for said diagnostics only to discover that these mechanics in New Brighton installed calipers that would only last a couple thousand miles. I ask you dear reader, had the job been done correctly, would I have had to bring my car in at all, and thus pay to find out what was wrong with it? And was I, a lowly public school teacher, to be expected to know exactly what issue had befallen my vehicle so as to have the forethought to bring it into the same exact location in order to have my warranty honored? Also, my dear, patient, Google review reader, if I had a suspicion that the mechanics I had brought my car to just months prior did in fact do such a poor job that the part needed to be replaced in the same calendar year, would it be a prudent decision to bring my vehicle to them again? Finally, was I so naive to believe that an establishment, bearing the same exact Honest-One logo, with its blue and green “H” and “1” leaning ever so slightly forward, as if into the future, with the squiggly lines through the horizontal line of the “H”, was to be so wholly disconnected and belonging to, as my ever-so-helpful customer care representative in the New Brighton location put it, “a completely different ownership structure?” I implore you, dear reader: do you look at one Target store in Minneapolis and another in Edina and think, “well, their signs look the same, their websites look the same, everything, really, is exactly the same, but as a prudent individual, I must assume that they have entirely different ownership structures?” If so, thou art a better human being than I, and I ask you to reply below and teach me thine ways. I however, a lowly working stiff, would not recommend that you visit these mechanics, as customer service, and the meager reimbursement of a diagnostics charge for their mistake, seems to be to them as natural as flying is to a vole.